40+ banking jokes and puns that would make a banknote laugh
Comedy legends like Joan Rivers, Wanda Sykes, Jerry Seinfeld, Chris Rock and so many others discovered a secret long ago: The great equalizer in comedy is to find humor in mundane, everyday shared experiences. . It is then that comedy becomes a universal language. Activities like going to the dentist, doing your taxes, and watching your plumber (and his crack plumber) in action are comedy gold. Hey, we’ve all been there – that’s why it’s funny.
Another example of fastidious, soul-hungry activity is going to the bank. Long queues, outdated technology, chain pens that perpetually run out of ink… it’s a journey. This is why banking jokes and puns are so fun and silly. Sure, accountant jokes and money puns can be itchy at times, but there is something about a good loan shark joke that works well. So with that in mind, we’ve rounded up the most ridiculous and ridiculous banking jokes that even your cashier would laugh at.
- Give a man a gun and he’ll rob a bank.
Give a man a bank and he’ll rob everyone.
- What did the football coach say when he went to the bank?
“I want my quarterback!
- Why did the cashier lose his job at the bank?
An old lady asked him to check her balance so he knocked her over.
- Why didn’t the skeleton rob the bank?
He didn’t have the courage.
- If you have no interest in the bank
You are not a loan.
- Why was the lumberjack arrested at the bank?
He walked into a bank, pointed a long, thin piece of wood at the ceiling and shouted, “It’s a heist! “
- If money talks, why do we need bank tellers?
- When is it raining money?
When there is a “change” in the weather.
- What did the actor say when he entered a bank?
This is a stand-up.
- A naked man robbed a bank.
No one could remember his face.
- A basketball player and a horse jockey have just robbed the bank.
The police are looking high and low for the culprits.
- Why did the owner of the bank buy cows?
To strengthen security.
- What do you call a man with a head full of change?
- Where do fish keep their money?
Along the river.
- The people who rob jewelry stores and banks are pretty bad.
But the people who rob bakeries really take the cake.
- What did the recluse say to the cashier when he needed money?
“Leave me a loan. “
- Why are Irish bankers so successful?
Because their capital is still Dublin.
- Why is a river rich?
Because he has two banks.
- Why do the guards have so much money in the bank?
They are really good for saving money.
- My dad would always tell me, “Work until your bank account looks like a phone number,” so I did.
Account balance: $ 9.11.
- I had an account in a bank in the North Pole.
They froze all my assets.
- What did Nut say when he detained the bank?
“Give me all the cashews!” “
- What do you call when you cross a banker and a fish?
A loan shark.
- Why did the old man bring raisins to the bank?
He wanted to open a checking account.
- If money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?
- A criminal robbed a bank wearing a suit made up of many mirrors.
But he surrendered after taking the time to think it over.
Fortunately, the judge was indulgent, as he saw himself a lot in the young man.
- My uncle always told me he had a fortune in a safe.
He left me the key in his will.
I went to the bank, shaking with anticipation, got access to the box, took it to the private viewing room.
I opened the box and looked inside, there was an envelope inside, when I opened it a folded piece of paper fell out.
I read it and it said, “Good things await you. Your lucky numbers are 6, 10 and 13.
- Why did the little old lady put her money in the freezer?
She wanted hard cash.
- I quit my job at the bank today.
I guess you can tell I lost interest.
- The bank must really love me.
They keep telling me that my loan is unpaid.
- Why did the tightrope walker go to the bank?
To check his balance.
- Have you heard of the gold digger?
They enjoy leisurely romantic walks to the Bank of America.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t have a bank account.
He just tells the bank how much money he needs.
- What did the cashier say to the customer?
“I bank you a lot. “
- What’s the hardest part of being addicted to banking?
- What did the tree do when the bank closed?
Started its own branch.
- Always borrow money from a pessimist,
He won’t expect it in return.
- Why is the banker dead?
He took it.
- Sign above the bank teller: “To err is human,
forgiveness is not banking policy.
- What do fish use for money?
- I went to the bank to apply for a personal loan.
Then they found out that I wanted to be a rapper. So they didn’t want to post Malone.
- What do you call a boy named John who has a lot of money?